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| Champions League and possible Gunner Redemption
After what has been a wild week of the Prem-
and by wild, I mean Arsenal drawing with the ‘Boro 1 goal all, Liverpool taking it on the chin at the hands of their Merseyside opponents Everton, and the Red Devils of Manchester giving the Spurs a goal to suck on while running away with the early lead of the table –
perhaps we can all look to the UEFA Champions League for some more settle excitement.
Oh, wait. Half of you lot aren’t even in the Champions League.
 
I’m currently watching Barca tackle Levski Sofia (which I know the score will be 5-nil). Matt, since Middlesborough and Champions League will never be uttered in the same breath, perhaps you can be a proper fan for a proper team.
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Carson’s beloved Chelski have handled the German Werder Bremen 2-nil, Michaels Essein and Ballack scoring respectively. It had been speculated that Bremen would give a substantial fit to the Blues for the predictable second spot behind Barca, but Chelsea has been been playing quite well in the UEFA series. And while Ronaldinho has said that Chelsea should threaten Group A as they maybe could, I believe the back to back matches in mid-October should prove classics.
While Will’s Liverpool held so much promise following their delightful, bacon-catered Community Shield win over Abroma-bitches (that’s mine, right here first), their season has been lack-luster at best, and sadly that has followed them to the Champions League. While PSV Eindhoven is a respectable club, the Reds should have picked up these points, but instead tied nil-nil, and there is nothing worse than a nil-nil tie in Champions play.
Finally, for those of y’all still Francesco Totti fans after that despicable appearance and collection of dives and overall dodgy bullshit, Roma blasted past Shakhtar Donetsk (whom I can’t pronounce, but have fun trying) with a 4-nil victory.
Thursday I may teach drunk
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My beloved Celtic FC, the Catholic genre of the Old Firm rivalry take on Old Fergy and the Red Devils of Manchester. I am of the proper mind that Celtic should not win this match, but given a win or even a draw, Thursday’s 50 minute classes and early release may produce an excited Irishman.
Arsenal will take on Hamburg, and while Tierry Henry will be out, I suspect no trouble taking down Ze Germans. Of course, how many times have I said this about Arsenal and Prem teams, like Middlesborough or Man effin’ City. Truthfully, I’m through predicting.
This game, as with the prior match Real Madrid v Lyon and the other big UEFA matches are being televised on ESPN Deux and el Classico. Thank God. More on these other fixtures as they develop.
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| Thursday afternoon and into the evening had an interesting a array of affairs cooking up all together. Instead of driving up early for my college roommate’s wedding, I decided to stick around. Well, it was decided for me, when the Phillips 66 guys decided not to work on my Bronco until 6:30 in the evening. But it did give me the opportunity to enjoy a few pints with our teacher crowd, as we celebrated the alleviation of the summer’s brokenness, i.e. our first paychecks.
Carson’s BB&T squad was going to be short a few players and so he asked me and Will to come out and run around on the green Astroturf. So we assemble our crew, along with Will’s friend Justin and set out to do battle.
We’re told that our match is at 8:15, so we get there a little before 8 to kick the ball around. After a quick trip to the bathroom, I return to the field and realize a match is about to start and that I need to hurry on out there. No Carson in sight, but we begin anyway. I had one shot on goal and a few good touches, but the real story was Will’s incredible performance in goal.
The most notable part of this match was the dead-on shot to the keys I took twenty minutes in. This chap was about 3 yards away, rares back and let’s my future progeny just have it. I thought for a second ‘no problem,’ but then the excitement set in, and I hit the deck. I drug my wounded-warrior body off the pitch, in search of water and something to throw to alive some of my anger. A girl who had been watching was nearby and asked if I had rolled my ankle. I said, ‘something like that,’ and just wondered if she was just trying to be nice.
Then Carson shows up, yelling ‘Go Gunners’. I wanted to punch him. Not so much because of the gunners exclamation, but because he was late to a match in which my keys took a pounding. His retort: “Guys, our game is one the other field in a few minutes.” Turns out Justin was just being nice, asking us to play in a pick-up game.
So we assemble with Carson’s crowd: two guys who looked like they knew what they were doing, two snappy blonde girls, and a really tall country-boy goalkeeper named AB. And so the game begins with two quick goals for our side. I sub in for Carson to take my place as top defender. But the other team responds with some serious footwork (see showboating) and a string of goals. Not only this, but Will and I are getting yelled at by one of the blonde chicks. Short story made long, we got our asses handed to us 16*-4. The asterisk because I noticed two goals didn’t make the scoreboard after the 16th goal.
Then I hear the main guy for the other side say, ‘yeah, I played for Campbell.” Not just he, but three of the opposing players were ex-collegiate athletes. Now, this is supposed to be the B league. I guess sometimes a few guys’ joint impotency compels them to kick the shit out of a few former high school has-beens and a never-was, never-will-be.
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| Just like college
I just now finished my two papers for my Phoenix Online courses, and God-willing, I will pass with fair enough grades to get my money back from the county. Notwithstanding how damn late it is (3:30am), I figured I'd devote a few moments to another post while we all wait for the next international break to take place. When we resume, my Gunners will take on Hooligan Matthew and his 'Boro, finally at home, where we are 3-0-0 in Friendlies, but have yet to play a Primiership match.
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How will the Gunners fair against the always interesting lot of Middlesbrough? God only knows. Harry Redknapp, our house's hero of the week, and his dodgy Portsmouth gave them a boot to the keys and four goals to spare. But the 'Boro did hand Chelsea a magnifiscent lose, and that's something, eh.
To round out Arsenal new, Jose Antonio Reyes has been quoted in a Spanish newspaper (unsurprisingly) that he will not be playing in England again. You don't need to be a weatherman to know which way the wind blows, and you don't need a dictionary to know what he means and where he's going next. Breakups are so difficult, and I think I'd know; I've probably had more than all of you chaps combined.
But just in case, he name-dropped Real Madrid, Althetico Madrid, and bloody Sevilla.
In other transfer news
Thank God, or atleast for now, that Owen Hargreaves is not going to Manchester United from Bayern Munich. Granted I'd love to see Fergie and friends dish out 17 million quid for this mid-shelf striker, but seriously; Old Trafford has enough glimmer in play and enough points on the leader board to need Owen Hargreaves. Who do they think they are? Chelsea?
Speaking of Chelsea
  
After talks with the F.F.F. and some exciting talk of 'slaves' and 'human rights', between friend of humanity Jose Mournho and cute and cuddly Raymond Domenech have settled on something, concerning Blues Striker Claude Makalele. After wishing to retire from French International(e) football, Makalele has now recanted his retirement wishes and actually, though subtly, renounced his Chelsea manager for his comments.
But really, why am I doing Carson's material?
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| Arsenal's Shit Start
After drawing 1-1 to a mediocre Aston Villa team, Arsenal has now dropped its first game to Manchester City in 19 fixtures. Effing nineteen! What the hell, lads. I woke up relatively early (for a Saturday) to see Richard's Spurs allow two goals (one, an own) to Everton , perhaps the most hated team in the English Premier next to Chelski. So now, Arsenal has had the second worst start to the new year, since they dropped their first two matches of the 1983 year. Right now they are tied with Watford, Blackburn, and Sheffield United for 1 point each for their respective early season draws but each also having at least one lose. The only thing keeping them ahead is that Arsenal has a -1 goal differential to the other teams having -2 and -3. Theo Walcott, the young English striker came on in the 66th minute, as did the amazing striker from Togo Emmanuel Adebayor ten minutes later. Both substitutes were flashy and good on the ball, and Walcott actually took the better of the strikes on goal, which no other gunner was willing to do. This was the problem; great ball movement, no cracks of the ball. The announcer said it best, "Arsenal can be a pleasure to the eye, but sometimes you just have to put a foot through the ball." Too right.
The only silver lining to this abysmal start is the Gunners' pair of victories over Dinamo Zagreb to qualify for the UEFA Champions League. In fact, looking at the Group Stage draw, Arsenal has got a great chance to easily advance, playing the likes of Porto from Portugal (clever enough), Moscow's CSKA, and Hamburg.
All Hail the 'Boro
Matt may be taking Middlesboro back, and taking them to the bank. I was so happy to see their 2-1 victory over Chelski that I watched it twice, once at home and once surprisingly at the pub. Seriously, how many million quid do you have to spend to defend a header in 80 minutes. Captain John, still my favorite player, has again been no where on a goal scored in the box. Shevy's goal wasn't much to see, it just happened to go in against a keeper leaning the other way. The final strike in the 89th was enough for me to want to see the game at the pub again. I will say that the officiating was horrid in this game against both sides.
The great thing about this match is that it gives hope to everyone in the Premiership against Roman's mercenaries (oh, I like that, I should write it down). The annoying thing about this match is that it shows Manchester United as the clear front-runners early in the year. But better them than Chelsea.
The other thought on Chelsea's side that they, unlike my beloved Gunners or Liverpool, cannot be happy with their UEFA group stage, drawing Germany's Bremen and the always dangerous Barca. Apparently, Abromavich's billions didn't have any sway with the draw committee and I will buy anyone who is interested in watch the Champion's League matches at Tir Na Nog a pint every a goal is scored against Chelsea.
The only person on Chelsea's side that I like to hear about more than Captian John is Manager Jose Mourinho. especially with his magical quotes following games like the Community Shield and this latest one at the hands of 'Boro: "It was difficult to lose this game against Middlesbrough; It was a little bit of a joke, but sometimes that is football" Alright, Mister Jokie Jokemaker. Let me hit you with some knowledge: your ninth.
Rounding out the Weekend
Liverpool got an easy three points from the West Ham, which delighted Will, while Man United avoided an early shock from Watford to also win, 2-1. My beloved Celtic won 2-1 at home over kindred Irish-Scottish Hibernian, their Edinburgh. Celtic is happily sharing the top of the Scottish Premier with rival Hearts, by the way Arsenal has started the season, I may jump the English Premier and solely support my Glasgow Catholics. Dave's Newcastle meet Villa and Chelsea visits Blackburn Rovers at Ewood Park. Right now newly promoted Wigan is taking on Reading. I think I want to take a nap and this match is encouraging me to do so.
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| Middlesbrough
What can you say about this group of pecker-slaps except that I feel bad suggesting them to Matt. Seriously, man; I'm sorry.
But when you drop your season opener, 3-2, to a team thats only goal is to not return to religation (Reading), you're going to have a tough road ahead of you.
Arsenal
The Gunners started the season with a rather lackluster at best draw to Aston Villa. In fact it was a potentially scary situation until Giberto Silva scored the eqaliser in the 89th minute of regular time.
A key part of the score was the late game substitution by Arsenal skipper Arsen Wenger of Theo Walcott. For those of y'all who don't remember, Walcott was the 18 year old that was named to England's World Cup squad, despite the critism of nearly everyone. But he never played. Now, he's helping to score Gunner goals, so this guy is happy.
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